She was tired and overworked. She took several weeks engrossed in their studies and their projects, besides working as a teacher at a school in the afternoons and evenings still working. What was intended with such exertion?
No money was missing, since his family was well off, so working was not vital, in terms of the studies she was sufficiently able to make rather little and get a lot. So, why all that burden, all that stress? All she wanted was to stay busy; to have always something in mind, to be distracted for her mind not to go to ... Toshiro. That incident after almost over a month was still making her feel uneasy. Every time she thought of him, she became so irritated. Why the hell she could not forget the great asshole that? The answer was obvious: she loved him. The funny part is that she could not hate him, neither he nor the woman for whom he left her. It was not in her nature to hate; Mitsuki had never hated anyone and never would. She wanted, she really wanted to dump his anger on him, he had destroyed her, he had shattered her heart, but it was impossible for her to hate him, which was even more frustrating. To make matters worse, Mitsuki was lonely, her parents had gone abroad on business and wouldn’t soon return; among her friends, since Ryoko had a boyfriend she didn’t hang out with her so much, but Mitsuki was glad that her friend was happy, and Shizu was all the day with a band that she had and was always rehearsing. Despite her open character, Mitsuki not used to have many friends, so she always depended on his parents or her two best friends and now they weren’t there and she did not have anyone to be with.
No money was missing, since his family was well off, so working was not vital, in terms of the studies she was sufficiently able to make rather little and get a lot. So, why all that burden, all that stress? All she wanted was to stay busy; to have always something in mind, to be distracted for her mind not to go to ... Toshiro. That incident after almost over a month was still making her feel uneasy. Every time she thought of him, she became so irritated. Why the hell she could not forget the great asshole that? The answer was obvious: she loved him. The funny part is that she could not hate him, neither he nor the woman for whom he left her. It was not in her nature to hate; Mitsuki had never hated anyone and never would. She wanted, she really wanted to dump his anger on him, he had destroyed her, he had shattered her heart, but it was impossible for her to hate him, which was even more frustrating. To make matters worse, Mitsuki was lonely, her parents had gone abroad on business and wouldn’t soon return; among her friends, since Ryoko had a boyfriend she didn’t hang out with her so much, but Mitsuki was glad that her friend was happy, and Shizu was all the day with a band that she had and was always rehearsing. Despite her open character, Mitsuki not used to have many friends, so she always depended on his parents or her two best friends and now they weren’t there and she did not have anyone to be with.
That night, trying to escape a little of all the feelings that overwhelm her again and become distracted from all the work, she decided to go for a walk. She knew exactly where she wanted to go. She removed her glasses, went to the bathroom to clear the face, grabbed the iPod and left the house. She hadn’t went for a walk at night for since long ago, even though she loved to walk the streets without being crowded, humming songs without thinking of nothing but the harmony of the tune that was being played. It was 11 on a Wednesday so there weren’t many people roaming the streets. She liked the atmosphere that was rather quiet and although it was cold and it was in early January, it felt good. In one of the streets turned to the right and she went down on a slope. It was a special place, where she liked to go to relax. Her grandfather, God rest his soul, went with her to that place when she was a child, they played, they eat snacks and the old man tell her stories about fantasy worlds that Mitsuki, then, was passionate about. When she arrived she sat on the bench that faced the pond. It was rare that there was a pond in the middle of a city, but that she liked it. In addition, few people knew it, so the place was very quiet. She brought up many happy memories. Every time she went to that place she felt like her grandfather gave her strength, like taking care of her.
She closed her eyes and tried to remember some happy moments of his life, moments that would make her draw a smile on her lips. The music she was listening helped this "exercise". She finished laughing alone in the middle of that paradise. She opened her eyes and being quiet and relaxed, letting the last laugh come out, she stood up ready to go home. After making few steps she peered at a couple walking toward her. At first she could see the faces of the couple because it was too dark and there was no lantern to illuminate the narrow path. But when they were close enough to see their faces, the expression of Mitsuki changed. To her surprise that who was in front of her were to Toshiro and Nanako. Mitsuki's legs paralyzed, as she was attached to the ground unable to move, even though she wanted was to run away from there with all she had. In that moment, Toshiro looked up and saw her. The silence descended into the darkness of the night. Mitsuki was hallucinating, she could not believe "of all the world's great sites, why this?; this must be the karma, sure; I really do not wanted to step on that cockroach God, but they give me much disgust and you know, I promise not to do it and if I do, I swear I'll make a funeral worthy of a bug, "she thought," and on top, now I'm stuck to the floor, great! I’m having a wonderful day! "Snorted and tried to articulate a greeting to the people who were in front of her:
- H-hi, long time no see - she said making the best of their efforts.
- Mitsuki! Well, what are you doing here at this hour? "Toshiro said amazingly surprised.
- Mitsuki! Well, what are you doing here at this hour? "Toshiro said amazingly surprised.
Mitsuki only wanted to run; she did not wanted to see them holding hands, she did not wanted to see how happy they were. She wanted to yell at him and put it to the nines in her, but she was not that kind of person, so she breathed deeply, trying to get stronger, and drawing a big smile on his face said with a cheerful and casual tone:
- I’m here to relax myself a bit. I've been very busy these days with projects and stuff, I haven’t had time to go for a walk since quite long time, so since the weather was good tonight, I thought about going out for some fresh air and here I am. – She thought that she couldn’t keep it for more time, so she did her best to sneak - "Well, I see that you two are on a romantic walk and I will not bother, I leave you to continue with your things. Good night and it’s a pleasure to have seen you. Goodbye. – She gave them a wide smile and passed him, heading home.
She thought that the worst part was over until she felt like something gave her a tug and stopped her. She turned around and saw Toshiro taking her hand. Mitsuki's face was a poem. She did not know what was going on. Why he had followed her? What happened to his wife? Then Toshiro let go her hand. His face showed the same degree of astonishment as Mitsuki’s. Puzzled, the girl was about to ask what he was doing there, but Toshiro talked first:
- Sorry. I don’t know why I have done this... it was an impulsive act. - He said surprised about his act.
Mitsuki hesitated a few seconds to react and respond to what he said, but then she realized. It was she who had to put an end to everything. She was the one who had to stop torture of that poor guy who felt guilty about what he had done to her. So it was at that moment when she realized that she had to forget everything and start over again. She’ll left apart that case that was already in the past and begun a new life. Determined, she looked into the boy eyes and said:
- Toshiro, I was very happy all the time we spent together, but you were in love with her and it can’t be avoid. You've done nothing wrong, really, love is something we cannot suppress or avoid, and we just let it flow. I just hope you don’t forget that and that you have a good memory of your past as well as I will. I wish you the best. - gave him a look that convey all the feelings you can imagine, but it was enough.
She turned around again and walked away, but this time her way wasn’t uncertain. She had decided, she would stop torturing and regretting herself. She would wipe the slate clean and she would live happy again. When she had moved away enough to let the dark blur the figure of the boy she heard a cry: "Thank you." Mitsuki stopped, raised his arm in sign of having heard those words, but did not know even if Toshiro reach to see the gesture, and walked on.
The night had turned even colder, and began to rain a little. Among the sea of shadows and solitude that flooded the place, it was drowning the loneliness and sadness of a girl who swore to herself never to succumb to despair, while she raised her eyes to the sky shedding the last tear.
